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| 07:39pm 14/03/2006 |
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Well, if my internet stopped acting all shitty I would most definently be updating more frequently. Well, what can I say. I'm going to visit Mike on the 7th through the 9th. I'm really happy. It's been awhile since I last got to see him and the last time I saw he doesn't really count considering it was only for a few hours. He wants to take me to all his hip and cool hang out spots which I suppose will be ok. I miss him so much sometimes. Just as long as he doesn't just keep saying word all the time. =P
Things with Jon are going well I suppose. I'm trying to relax more and I think that's turning into an overall success. Well at least in the fact that I don't always go off and tell him everytime something bothers me. I only half mask it when I want him to question me and know. I doubt he relizes how much I can hide if I really want to. I guess it seems kind of weird to try and be shy when in fact you desperately want to tell him everything on your mind. I guess I'm just a freak in that sense. One truly amazing thing about Jon is that he finnaly makes me relize my potential and how much I can actually get accomplished if I only make the effort to try. I almost got my room completely spotless. I got kind of bored and tired so I stopped for a bit. . . well. . . a few hours. >.< But at least I made a reall freakin' huge dent in it. I don't have that much more to take out. Only little things. I need a CD/DVD/Video Game holder. I just decided that because it's true. I must go and buy one from Bed Bath and Beyond tommorow after I cash my paycheck. I have lots of monies saved up too. That's more than I can say about Jon though. Instead of going home the past few days and working for his Dad for $10/hr he insists on pissing around outside of work, spending a few hours with me at the park. . . well that's not to terrible but he should have spent more dammit =P, and staying at work longer than needed AND going to a movie. He knows my displeasure though so I guess I can let it rest. Or I'll just stash it in my memory for the net time he has the nerve to bitch at me about not having any money to take me out on a date. You know in the time we have been dating he has never once taken me out on a date by his standards.
On a more different note, I'm a little apprehensive about going over to visit mike but only in the sense that I'm afraid I might not come home. In all honesty I'm getting so fed up with this shit. Between work and home I don't think I can take much more of this. I'm going to stay in his friends apartment and his friend kinda scares me a bit but what can I say? I'm easily intimidated. You guys can't even begin to fathom how much I have begun to look foward to this. I would be absolutely devastated if I couldn't go. This is the best thing that has happened to me in the longest time. I think it ranks right up there with meeting Jon, although he does seem to claim it was carefully calculated on his part and if James Miller hadn't pushed it he would have made his move. In some strange sick way though, I don't think it would have worked had it not been for James Miller. One thing I miss though is how when i first met Jon he was a different sort of person. More passionate and fun and a heck of a lot more carefree than he is now. It seems that in the short amount of time I've known him he's changed but not necesarily for the worst. I don't think I could deal with the fun, passionate Jon all the time. He was a piece of work that way.
I just wish i got to see him a bit more than I do. I should try to steal him away sometime in the near future for some fun filled activities. Luckily spring break is coming up soon so that should give me a little bit of room to work with. It will be most excellent. |
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| 10:16pm 06/03/2006 |
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I know it has been a little while since I last updated but what can I say? To damn lazy to hook back up my computer. So I found out what happened to my phone, kind of. Apparentl someone found it at the party and procceded to txt message people with it. Not happy. What's worse is that the one girl who I think did it is a sweetheart. Jon's doing some investigating for me right now but I am really not a happy camper. That's just so wrong. So if he finds out who it is they have two options. Pay me for my new damn phone or have me file a police report against them for conversion or some other technical term my Mom used, plus the text messaging charges. While I'm at it I should get them for the accesory pack I had to get with my new phone as well. I'll see what I can guilt out of them. Like I said not a happy camper at all. I mean that is just really fucking messed up. Why the hell would you do that?
One good thing that came out of it is that I got the new and spiffy Verizon RAZR FONE!!!!!!11111ONEELEVEN
Sorry about that. With the spelling of RAZR it just HAD to be done. But it's one of those cool camera/movie/spiffy phones of death. I love it so. I shall name it. . . I don't know. I'll come up with a good name later. Jons on the phone so I'm leaving. |
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| 12:38am 26/02/2006 |
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Ever been in one of those moods where just sit and listen to your "angry music"? That's the kind of mood I'm in right now. I'm not angry. In fact I am very HAPPY right now. I just feel like listening to Jack off Jill. This hasn't happened in . . . well a year and a half. Now that Zack is out of the picture I'm starting to revert back to the way I used to be, you know, fun. It makes me so happy inside just knowing that I'm back to normal. I'm mellow again. I have a desire to do things. Granted I lost the will to settle down and get a real a job but I know it's for the best. Gives me a chance to really decide what I want to do with my life. Massage therapy is fine and dandy but do I really wanna spend that kind of money on it? Figure if I hold out long enough I can turn 21 and get my bar tending license. I mean. Heck. I may even become a stripper. Who the knows?
I'm really getting back into music. Maybe I'll even pick up my guitar and start learning some more kick ass mother fucking songs! Fuck yeah bitches! BITCH SHIT CUNT FUCK NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA! Man do I miss swearing. I have no idea why I stopped to begin with.
ARG! STFU Semagic. Made me post when I didn't want to. /smack TAKE THAT! /Kefka laugh.
Well now I totally lost my train of thought. More to come later. |
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| 01:21pm 25/02/2006 |
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SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 70 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 189 movies on this list.
Put your score in header and repost: 97
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) The Mexican
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 6
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Young Frankenstien
(x) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
( ) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x)Anger Management
(x)50 First Dates
(x) Jason X
Total: 9
(x) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x ) Scary Movie
(x ) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x ) American Wedding
Total: 7
(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil I
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Donnie Darko
(x) Lilo & Stitch.
( ) Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch
Total: 8
(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch (jim carrey)
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
Total: 7
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
Total: 6
(x) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
(x ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
Total: 6
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
Total: 3
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) Bad Boys
Total: 3
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Se7en
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
TOTAL: 2
(X) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
Total: 4
( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
Total: 4
(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x)Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Others
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
Total: 6
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(X) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(X)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(X)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman
Total: 4
( ) Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
( ) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi
(x) Troop Beveryly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
Total: 6
(x) Air Force One
(x) For Richer or Poorer
( ) Trainspotting
( ) People Under the Stairs......
( ) Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap
(x) Parent Trap Re-make
( ) The Birds
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator-2
(x) T-3
Total: 8
(x) Empire Records
(x) SLC Punk
( ) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Sleepy Hollow
( ) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out
Total: 5
( ) Thirteen
( ) Manic
( ) American History X
(x) Deep Blue Sea
(x) George of the Jungle
(x) Canadian Bacon
( ) Big Black Titties
( ) How High
( ) The Jackel
( ) My Little Ponys Grand Adventure 2
Total: 3 |
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| 01:02pm 25/02/2006 |
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mood:  content
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I know it's been a few days but what can I say. It's been a most rough and eventful week. To sum it up in a nutshell I am so afraid to step foot in my own home anymore. Thanks a lot asshole Dave. We all know those stupid sibling fights. Everyone has them and they are stupid. Well asshole decides to get involved in one, got inches from my face and yelled at me. I was afraid he was going to hit me. So now I don't even want to go back to my own home. So how do I react. I've been partying all weekend. It has been most excellent. A little woozy from the past two nights of drinking plus I started smoking a bit. I'm trying for moderation. it will be excellent. That's all I really have to say about that. |
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| 09:24pm 20/02/2006 |
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So what was I talking about before I went on with that insane sidebar of how me and Jon met and hooked up. I believe the topic was Zack and our break-up. What else was I suppose to do there. It all happened so suddenly but for some reason I didn't have to think twice about it. It was the most natural thing to do. looking back at my old journal has made me realize that Zack and I were never meant to be. Every little thing he did bothered me. Every simple part of his existence aggravated me. The fact that he was a bum for one. The fact that he never did anything monumental for me. The fact that his idea of a good time was playing games 24/7. He had no other interests. No friends. No life. It's was almost like dating my father in a lot of aspects, and I have very bitter feelings towards my father.
I think I want to talk about something a little less depressing than my break up with Zack. I decided to stick with FF XI for a little bit more. I talked to people and they said Zack rarely plays anymore so I'll start again. I think I wanna work on making Yumi a thief. It'll be awesome. I shall start tomorrow and it'll be awesome. I can't let this break-up change my way of life. Even though I broke up with him and he is far my phased by it than I am. About 100 times more phased over it than I am. Then again that could be because I broke up with him.
so here I am just kind of sitting here watching the Princess Diaries. It's actually a pretty good movie. Must. Stop. Poking. Belly. It's so frigging hard. I can't help it but if I don;t stop then it'll get infected and crap. I think I'm done updating for now. |
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| 01:26am 20/02/2006 |
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I think that I want to update. Well, i don't think that I do. I know I want to update. I'm trying to get out of this permanent funk I seem to have going on here. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I'm so happy right now with my life; however, the instant I realize that I have no idea when I will get to hear from Jon again, much less see him again I gradually start in this horrible downward spiral of screaming temporal doom. All that talk about being that pathetic is true. My life revolves around him. We were talking a little bit tonight and he is right. I do need to find a new hobby. I'm done with FF XI considering me and Zack broke up. It would be to weird to be playing with him considering he hates my guts right about now.
I tried to end it well with him, I really did, but there was just way to much bitterness in his feelings. He hates me for breaking up with him but it's almost like what choice do I have? I was not happy with him towards the end. It as the feeling of comfort and that horrible feeling of never finding anything better. If it wasn't for James Miller I have no idea what I would have done.
I want to make a sidebar now and explain how me and Jon met up and all that fun stuff. The horribly amusing thing is that he does not have a clue about the first time we met. In fact he doesn't remember it at all. He walked into Sears shortly after finishing up as much of the trail as he possibly could. He was talking to Sherry, my closest workmate there. He peaked my interest but only because he took away the ONLY person I would talk to at the time. So of course me being the nosy and bored person I am tried to get in on the conversation in which I was shot down repetitively. I didn't think anything of it then, although Sherry did point out that that was the Jon she always talked about. I honestly thought that would be the last I ever saw of him. Then this weird guy starting working in sears shortly afterward. I never knew his name but one day I went to the back office looking for Matt and there was this guy playing his GBA so what did I do? Well being the geek I am I made a comment about approving of the game he was playing. Him being the smart ass he is says "I bet you can't name which game I was playing?" And I spat out final Fantasy IV. He looked a bit amazed as he should have, after all, I am a girl and I have a nice rack. Geeky girls never have nice racks. We started talking a bit and our conversation actually ended with "You play WoW? I can't talk to you." And I had to leave and finish up closing. So after that I saw him around occasionally but never really said much of anything to him. At the time I was happy with Zack and did not feel the urge to pursue him though I will admit the thought had crossed my mind. Then one day I dusted my way down to the Gazebo where James and Sherry were and Jon (By this time I learned his name) as just sitting there when James Miller just starts SHAMELESSLY whoring Jon out. All because I had mentioned to him that I was unhappy with Zack. Then the wheels in my head starting turning. I decided that that was the end of me and Zack. I told Zack that night and him seemed cool with it. He says he was cool with it at the time. So the next day I went to find James miller to tell him that I was a swinger and he starts going on an about how Jon was really interested, I thought he wasn't naturally, and who walks up but Jon. So what do I do? Why bolt of course. I ran faster than anything. It was traumatizing. So I guess he talked to James a little before going back to the LP office and what does James do? Come out to torture me. It was horribly traumatizing. To make matters worse Jon was laughing at me kirking out in the back and showing the video to everyone. When he finally made his way out of the back he strutted around to talk to Lawn and Garden to make me suffer. Of course I spaz out more and try and hide by doing miscellaneous tasks. When he finally came over to ask for my number I spaced out and forgot it. But now that's history.
Hopefully that added some insight on why I owe James so much. Without him I would still be miserable with Zack. That was a big sidebar now that I think about it. I'm done for now. |
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| 08:18pm 19/02/2006 |
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mood: content
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So I guess I should make a really longwinded post about my day. I'll see what flows out today.
So I spent the day with Jon, for the most part. I woke up at 7 to be at work by 8. I left aliitle early to ensure that I could get gas on time and guess what. My car runs out of gas. So I run home and have my mommy drive me to work for the meeting, which sucked whole heartedly. So I spent the meeting with Jon and all his hungover friends. Amusing. So we went home afterwards, well after dropping off the kegs and chilled for a while. Then the cops came to my door bitching about how my car is blocking the road, whioch it really wasn't but whatever. So we went and got it gas. Then we hung out some more and he went home to do homework. It was awesome overall. Now I am here. . . . |
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| 10:33am 19/02/2006 |
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So here I am, sitting next to Jon and stuff. And he's all like "Television Television Television." And I'm all like "Compy Compy Compy." Tionna, I'm totally listening to the playlist of goeey lovey doveyness. It is the awesomeness. I guess I'l make a real post when he leaves. |
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| 11:10pm 18/02/2006 |
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So. Yeah. I'm so tired of kirking out like I do. One day, man. One day and I'll be ok. One day I won't b such a pain in the ass to all those around me. As I stated in a previous entry I woke up feeling abnormaly depressed, like my life has no meaning. As though my soul was empty. I think I may have pin pointed it. As I also stated the trouble started once Jon actually left. I was fine when I first woke up. It was the instant he left my room that it was filled with the dread. The dread of spending a day doing nothing. Which is what it would have been. Me awake from 8 until 4, a full fricking work day in which I do nothing but sit and watch TV. Possibly plat some computer. It's just ridiculous. I really have that little of a life when I can't find someone to be around for a few hours before work. Without my cell phone of numbers the task is more impossible. So what do I do, go and talk to my Mommy. Mommy makes all better. We went out shopping. She bought me pants, two bras, and a bunny duck. It made me feel so much better.
Then we got home and I felt worthless again. nothing to do before work. luckily they called me in early so i perked up a bit, that is until I got to work, saw Jon's emotionless face, and felt down again. I can't describe it. The feeling I get when he basically look right through me. granted we must keep things at a professional level but hot damn. At least look happy that I stopped in the back to see you no matter what the reason was. I know he cares but sometimes I wish he would show it more although I'm not even sure HOW he could show me he cares any more than he already does. Am I really just that needy? Sad thing is I am. I am entirely dependant on other people's emotions and their reactions to me. Whenever one thing get's thrown out of whack my hole life jsut crumbles. One of these days I should voercome that but for now I'm a bit comfortable that way.
In some sick sad way I love the attention it draws to me. I lvoe being in people's thoughts whether it be for me being a bitch, a crazzy psycho emo kid, or because they care. I guess I don't want to be forgotten. In a way I guess if they are thinking about me they must care in their own special way but the degree of caring will vary with the different emotions. I'm just kind of crazy like that.
Wanna know something weirder? I'm perfectly content now. The instant he said he would call me back I totally calmed down. WTF? I mean come the poop on. I'm so head over heels for him it's not funny. I guess the bggest problem is that well, with Zach every minute I could find of my free time I would spend it either with him or doing something for him. With Jon I gained so much time it's not even funny. Not that I don't do things for him or see him but because there is just less free time on his part. I don't know. it's so frigging frustrating.
And to make matters worse worked sucked so bad. Then again it is work so that is to be expected. And my frigging tanzen hurts. I wanna cry. |
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| 09:20am 18/02/2006 |
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mood:  discontent
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So the part lst night was a total bust. I lost my cell phone there, somewhere and no way of checking in to see if they found it yet. Luckily it still has power, no matter how little it may be. I just tried to call it hoping that someone would answer but they didn't. It really doesn't surprise me much. I had fun I guess but I mean, it's just not my thing. It was such a huge party and the cops came and it was traumatizing. People wonder why i don't go to these things. What's worse is that I feel really sick again this morning. I didn't relize I was drinking on an empty stomach. Well, i relize it now but I guess I only have my self to blame. I didn't really drink that much but I drank it fast. It's just how I am.
Jon stayed over last night which was ok I guess. I was really buzzed so I couldn't do much of anything. To make matters worse almost right after he left for work I started feeling really fricking depressed and I have no idea why. I hink it may be a combination of losing my cell phone and the regret of going to the party. Something told me not to go and look what happens when you don't follow your gut feeling. Shit happens. Now I don't have Jon's phone number and to make it even worse is that I have no way of getting in touch with him like I promised I would tonight.
I guess I can always ask Jon to check back in later with the phone thing. He's sure it's going to show up but honestly I am a bit apprehensive. All I know is that I don't want to be alone right now. I have no idea what hit me and why but it's just so wholly depressing. Maybe it's he fact that work just keeps getting worse everyday. They fired my manager yesterday for no gosh darn reason. Simply because she's been there for a month and things aren't perfect. Which now makes me question my job security. Sears is not going to have any employees left. They are all just going to be fired or quit. It's bull shit. And why the hell am I so upset. I'm just sitting here fricking crying for just no gosh darn reason.
Can I really just not stand to be apart from him for so long. Is it the fact that I don't have his phone number? What the fuck is it. What the hell is wrong with me? Can't eat, can't sleep. And just fucking hating everything. |
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| 05:00pm 17/02/2006 |
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mood:  hyper
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Here I am at Nigga's house. And now for a quote. . .
Here mah people skillz Nigga Nigga Nigga.
In all seriousness, I'm hardly a racist. I just play one on television. Actually, it's just a huge joke between me and Tionna. It just goes to show how strong our friendship is. It' how we kid, it's a staple of our lives. I know it sounds very horrible in the fact that she's balck and I call her a nigga. She's the only person I use that term on. When I wanna be racist it would have the -er at the end. Nigga is a term of endearment. Nigga's! |
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| My life, or so it seems |
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| 01:24pm 17/02/2006 |
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mood:  accomplished
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Take the time to talk to me and relize that I always seem to make it out that I am depressed. That's a lie. Talk to me about what it is that makes me happy and be prepared to listen to me talk non-stop about Jon. Get me off the topic of Jon, and listen to me go on for hours about my personal nigger, Tionna. There are so many things in my life that make me happy, I'm just not very good at expressing it. Sure I get depressed. Christ knows that everyone does. Yes I've lost my share of good friends because of extenuating circumstances, but that does not make me depressed as much as it use to. Taking the time to relize how many wonderful things I have going for me right now erases all the bad. My hope for the rest of my life is focusing on the now. Not the past, not the future, but truly relishing in the now. I grow truly weary of the shit that goes on in the world. I want to try to not only focus solely on the good. After a long and somewhat irritating talk with Jon, it suddenly hit me. I'm not as depressed as I try to make it out to be. Is it my fault tht I can't express pure joy and that it always comes out as me being content. . .
That's a fault of mine right there. I don't like showing emotion to others. I'm always afraid that it will come out as me being weak minded and at a lose of control in the situation. I need control, another of my hugest faults. The instant I lose control of a situation I freak out. Can't beathe, can't think straight. That's when I'm the most vunerable and I hate that feeling. Which makes me wonder why in the world I am typing in this as we speak. I suppose it's the best way for me to get out my emotions. If other people read how I am it always makes for a better getaway in the end. I can always avoid them and their comments. It gives me a sense of control in the situation. There I go with that control again. To put it in perspective I could be dictator of the world and absolutely control every aspect of everyone's life and still crave for more. I like to live life on my terms.
In a way I guess that's much like everyone else in the world, but I take it to an extreme. Which is why Jon is so perfect for me in tht sense. He's not letting me have control and I absolutely hate it, but I know in the same way that it is for te better. In the end I will come out a better person. Now don't get me wrong. He does not control my life, in fact I made that point VERY clear when he made the mistake of telling me I had to read this book. Stop right there. You never tell me I HAVE to do anything. That angers me to no end. In the end he just relized he worded entirely wrong. I can't argue ith that. He apologized and I calmed down enough to relize he was right though. I should read that book. I need to change to better myself, not change for anyone else.
Which is why I am going to fight tooth and nail for this next change. Well, not tooth and nail and not to the point of being an ass about it either. Aparently he wants me to be a neat and organized person, which is all fine and dandy. I feel as though he fails to grasp the concept that I've lived with this for 18 years. That's a lot of reworking. For every single time you do something wrong you have to do it 10 times to rework it. So he has 180 years to go in that sense. I'm not ready to change though. I love the way I am. I love being me; however, I love him enough to allow him to try and change me no matter how much I despise it. I guess he's just lucky in that sense.
Enough prosing for right now. A little about my day. Well, I woke up sick so I called out of work. Well, I was sick yesterday and was still sick this morning I guess. My car was still at work since I was so sick I could'nt drive home yesterday. on stopped by after school for a quickie and to drive me to my car. Rather uneventful so far but the day is young. I'm going to a party tonight, which he claims will be a load of fun. I suppose it will be. I'm not sure though considering I am a misanthrope by nature. What can I say, I have a lot of issues. Issues that I am now trying to work through. |
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| The big welcome post |
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| 11:00pm 16/02/2006 |
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mood:  exhausted
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Hello to the legions of readers on this massive world we call the internet. My name is Barbara F. Mangrum. The date is February 16th, 2006. I am 18 years old and I am living in Arnold Maryland. My interests include computers, video games and Asia. I have a very caring boyfriend named Jonathan M. Lober. I refuse to tell you how long we have been dating. The legnth of time is irrelevant. The main thing is that we are most certainly meant to be together, whether by friendship or romance.
A little more about me I suppose. The real me. The real me is a very insecure person. I have more doubts than anyone I have ever met. Most of them are silly in the eyes of others but to me they are real and massive. I need to be medicated but I'm not really a big fan of pill popping everyday. That and I am the most forgetful person you will ever meet.
I don't have many friends. In fact, I have one. Her name is Kathy Wann. I have plenty of work aquaintances though. And there's always Matt and JP but they are a special breed. They came packaged with Jon. I think that's just about all the people you will hear me mention. There's always my sister, Stephanie, and my gay brother Jeffrey. I have a Mom and half a Dad. If I ever feel the need to explain about my father I will. Jon has a siter named Jen who might pop into the picture once and a while, a Mommy, and his strict, militant father. Hmmm, more people than I originally thought.
I work at Sears in the Annapolis Mall. I'm just a lowly cashier, the lowest job in the store nex to the cleaning crew. I make 40 cents more than minimum wage. Isn't that kind of pathetic. It's more pathetic that they always rave about what a good employee I am. I'm going to start looking for a new job soon. They keep pulling shit and it's really starting to grate on my very last nerve.
One thing I forgot, I do not use swear words lightly. I mostly use the word poop to describe my ill feelings. When i swear, I'm really peeved.
I can't reall think of anything else to say. I must be more boring than I originally fathomed. |
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yumihoshi's journal
